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@grapefrukt right, x is a function something like this: function x(Action arg) { arg(); return null; } so the switch gets some values to chomp on, but the actual functions themselves don't need to return anything.
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@grapefrukt for the sake of clarity I should say that this is monstrous, don't do this, but also you should just have an ugly switch statement and this whole quest is uh, "needlessly creative".